


Tumblr Drabble Challenge

by keelywolfe



Series: by any other name [78]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underfell (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Underswap (Undertale), Attempted mugging, Drabble Collection, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Protectiveness, Smut, Spicyhoney - Freeform, Underfell Papyrus (Undertale), Underfell Sans (Undertale), Underswap Papyrus (Undertale), Undertale Monsters on the Surface, kustard - Freeform, papcest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-09-06 01:40:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 10,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20283289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keelywolfe/pseuds/keelywolfe
Summary: Boring title, but true. A collection of drabbles from a tumblr challenge.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> [Here is the list of questions.](https://keelywolfe.tumblr.com/post/187053725983/drabble-challenge)
> 
> None of these are set anywhere very specific in the series timeline, but it should be okay!

* * *

queenofbiscuits asked:

_okay so this is a super specific request, but idk if you remember the Thanksgiving drabble in BAON where Edge is going to go get Jeff? but like, this one: “You’re not going to starve yourself on Thanksgiving.”_

I do remember! Specific, yes, but I can work with this!

* * *

It was stupid to feel lonely, Jeff told himself.

Alone, sure, his roommates had all gone home for Thanksgiving, so there was no one in the apartment, but him and the cat.

It was stupid, really. He should be enjoying it. Unlimited access to the big television and PlayStation, no work, and he’d even splurged on a good frozen dinner and a slice of pie at the grocery store yesterday.

Wasn’t like he really had anything to miss, anyway. His last family thanksgiving was better not remembered and thinking of Julia made a sort of thickness rise in his throat so better not to think about it.

Antwan had called this morning, and Jeff could hear the laughter and chatter in the background while they talked. That wasn’t worth thinking about either, not that or the argument they’d had when Jeff wouldn’t let Antwan buy him a plane ticket. No one was going to accuse him of being with Antwan for money, thanks, not even himself.

But he hated arguing, hated the sour taste it left in his mouth to know Antwan was upset with him.

It would be okay, he told himself. No one ever got dumped for not letting someone spend money on them, right?

He was idling flipping through Netflix, petting the purring cat absently when the intercom buzzed.

That surprised him. Maybe one of his roommate’s friends didn’t know they were gone for the holiday? But who would stop by on Thanksgiving?

He shooed the cat away, wincing as she dug her claws into his thigh. Went to the door to press the button and said hesitantly, “Yes.”

“Buzz me up.”

Even through the tinny speaker Jeff recognized the voice, saying in disbelief, “Edge?” But he didn’t hesitate to push the unlock button, something had to be wrong, someone must be hurt for Edge to come here, oh, God, maybe Stretch was sick again, his low HP, maybe there had been another attack, maybe—

Edge was at his door before he could come up with any other terrible scenarios. He was smartly dressed in a nice suit, even his tie was ruler-straight. “Put on your shoes.”

Jeff was already shoving his feet in them, “Yeah, let me grab a jacket. Is…is it bad?” It couldn’t be bad or someone else would have come for him, right?

“Bad? Not at all, Papyrus’s cooking has improved immensely since he stopped taking lessons with Undyne.”

What?

“What?” Jeff repeated for Edge’s benefit.

“Put. On. Your. Shoes.” Edge repeated patiently.

“Not that part! What about food?”

“You’re not going to starve yourself on Thanksgiving. You’re coming with me and you will join us at Papyrus and Sans’s home, you will have dinner with us, barring any dishes with tomatoes, and you will have a slice of pie after. Perhaps two.”

“Um.” If there was a good protest for all that, Jeff was struggling to come up with it. Maybe Antwan couldn’t carry him to the plane, but Edge didn’t look like he would have a problem dragging him to the car, he might even be looking forward to it, and the only question would be whether Jeff was riding in the front or the trunk. Jeff looked down at his old t-shirt and sweatpants, “I’m not really dressed for it.”

“You’re fine,” Edge assured. “Stretch will be jealous. Now, can we go? We’re missing the appetizers.”

Edge came here for him, putting off time with his own family, Jeff realized. For him. He blinked hard, tears prickling, and grabbed his jacket. “Okay, yeah. Let’s go.”

Frozen dinners sucked, anyway.

Fin


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

anonymous asked:

_"dogs don't wear clothes!" SpicyHoney domestic home fluff? (idk what its called ut them married and living in the same house) but instead of dogs, its chickens or something because yas queen._

Yes, I can do this too with a minor alteration!

* * *

“Why do you torture them like that?”

Stretch didn’t look up from where he was fastening a tiny buckle. “what do you mean?”

Edge reached into the little box next to Stretch. The small dress he removed would not have been out of place on a rerun of Little House on the Prairie, if the actors were less than a foot tall.

His expression of distaste spoke volumes. “This. Chickens don’t wear clothes, why do you do these things?”

“first of all, youtube would like to speak to you about your claim that chickens don’t wear clothes. second, may i present exhibit a.”

Stretch let go of Nugget and she trotted away, overalls in place. The effect of watching scrawny chicken legs in pants was enough that Edge was forced to turn away, disguising his laugh into a cough.

He turned back and said gravely, “You’ve made your point.”

“damn right i did.” Stretch tipped his head up, his eye lights pleadingly wide. “help me get nugget and noodle into a picture together once i get her dress on? i’m trying to get a shot of ameri-cluck gothic.”

“Is that a fork from the kitchen?”

“yeah. turns out that finding a chicken-sized pitchfork is a bitch.”

Edge sighed in a way that made Stretch grin. That was the sigh of someone who was going to help him pose two chickens as a parody of twentieth century art.

He did allow Edge to lean over and steal a kiss, though, his baby probably needed fortification for this. The soft pressure of his mouth lingered, deepening and Stretch finally pushed him away with a laugh. “you can’t distract me with kisses!”

“I believe you’ll find that I could, I simply choose not to.”

Probably true but Stretch wasn’t going to incriminate himself. Instead, he snagged Noodle, who stood amicably while he slipped on her little dress.

“okay, everyone!” Stretch announced. He kept his hold on Noodle even as Nugget happily allowed Edge to pick her up. Her little clucks of contentment were proof of her chickeny love. “time to make art!”

Or maybe just a hilarious montage for Instagram, but whatever. Close enough.

Fin

**if you’ve never seen a chicken wearing pants, google it. You will be rewarded.


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

anonymous asked:

_“I locked the keys in the car.” With Edge, please? Poor guy has so much to keep track of all the time, I’m sure it’s happened at least once. :P_

I’m sure he has, at least once!

* * *

Stretch would be the first person to say that he loved Edge’s cooking. Loooooved it. He’d always been a pretty damn good cook, even before Stretch realized he wanted to spend the rest of his life orbiting Edge’s own personal sun.

He’d only gotten better over the years and most days, Stretch was more than happy to eat whatever gorgeous deliciousness Edge set in front of him.

But that went out the door when it came to sushi.

Some days, Stretch got that craving, one that could only be satiated by a professional and while Edge did love to cook, he could be persuaded to eat out for a good cause. Sushi qualified.

After a couple of hours of chatting happily to the chef, who was delighted to hear Japanese even if Stretch’s accent could use some work. He and Edge ate their way though a boatload of tastiness, Stretch drinking plenty of sake to go with it. Edge stuck with water since he was driving, watching as Stretch chattered away.

He’d probably told Edge about the history of sushi a few times before, probably every time they’d come here. Edge only smiled that little not-quite-smile of his, asking questions and if he’d heard these stories a hundred times, he’d probably be happy to go for a hundred and one.

It was only as they were leaving, Stretch carrying a bag with the leftovers as he offered bits of trivia about sake, that Edge’s little smile faltered, fading away.

Stupid as it was, it made a pulse of anxiety go through his soul, stupid, stupid, he knew it wasn’t because of him, knew that Edge liked to hear him talk because if he didn’t, Edge would tell him, he would. He wouldn’t keep asking questions. He wouldn’t pretend to be interested only to eventually tell him to shut up. Not Edge and Stretch knew that. He knew it.

Try telling his anxiety, though.

“what’s wrong?” Stretch asked, and he was proud of the evenness in his voice.

“I locked the keys in the car,” Edge sighed heavily.

“locked your keys—“ Stretch started in disbelief. Then he had to cover his mouth with his hand as relieved laughter bubbled out. And how was it that Edge wasn’t irritated at his snickering, only shook his head and took Stretch’s free hand in his own, his gloved thumb rubbing gently over Stretch’s knuckles while he logged into Onstar on his phone.

“Tell me more about the history of sake,” Edge said. Anyone else might think it was said absently, that Edge’s attention was on unlocking the car.

Anybody else wasn’t Stretch. He smiled, his own little smile. “sure, babe.”

And kept talking.

Fin


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

crysta-cub asked:

_#57 anyone from baon_

Spicyhoney is the answer to all questions! The sentence was “Just get home as soon as possible, okay?!”. I took out the exclamation point, made it a little softer.

* * *

Edge wasn’t worried.

There was nothing to worry about. Stretch went into New New Home all the time, went to his bookstore and the Beanery, went to go thrifting to find other ghastly clown décor to try to smuggle into the house.

Just because Stretch was normally on time for dinner didn’t mean there was a reason for concern or that anything had happened. Twenty minutes late was hardly cause for concern and he wasn’t about to text like some overbearing—

_(brother)_

–ass who didn’t trust his husband. He was not.

But when his phone rang, he snatched it up and answered it before the first ring had a chance to fade. “Hello?”

“hey, babe.” Edge closed his eyes at the sound of that familiar, easy voice. “sorry, the bus is caught up in some construction. i would have called sooner but i was in the middle of a fierce round of ‘words with friends’ and didn’t see how late it was.”

“It’s fine,” Edge said, evenly. “Your dinner will merely be cold and soggy when you get here.” That bright laughter didn’t carry properly through a phone line, lost its depth, the sweet purity of the emotion. Edge smiled faintly to hear it anyway. He closed his eyes and said, softly, “Just get home as soon as possible, okay?”

“as soon as i can, sweetie baby love,” Stretch assured him and the ridiculousness of his endearment still warmed, especially as he added, with rare sincerity, “i promise.”

Edge swallowed hard, that Stretch would promise him over something so small. “I love you.”

“love you, too, see you soon!”

The call disconnected and Edge set the phone aside. Then he took the untouched plate next to him to the kitchen to wrap it in foil, to help keep it warm until Stretch came home.

-fin


	5. (kustard)

* * *

Anonymous asked

_Suggestion for drabble numbers: 4, and the response line is 24. Two in one but the combination makes it sound unique?_

4: “I’m too sober for this.”

24; “It’s six o’clock in the morning, you’re not having vodka.”

This one went unexpectedly Kustard, sorry about that. It also went lemony, so warning for some adult content.

* * *

“so, what’s the kinkiest thing you ever wanted to try?”

Sans didn’t open his eye sockets. “i’m too sober for this conversation.”

“it’s six o’clock in the morning, you ain’t having vodka. c’mon, you’re barely awake, now’s the perfect time to answer, before any bullshit ‘bout shoulds and should nots start creepin’ in.”

The sharpened fingertips creeping along his spine weren’t entirely careful. The mingled pinpricks of pain and pleasure were distracting. More distracting was the boner Sans could feel pressed to his sacrum. 

The things he dealt with to get laid.

“can’t think of anything you haven’t already done,” Sans yawned. “itchin’ to try something new? i can google that for you.”

“yeah, i’ve done plenty,” Red agreed. Said something about how fucked up Sans was about him that his smugness only made a flurry of memories pop into his mind, of ropes and leather cuffs, of begging, pleading for more. One of those needle-tipped fingers dug into cartilage a fraction too hard, dragging Sans back to the now and he cursed, squirming away, opening one socket enough to glare. That grin was sharper than the teeth that held it. “i wanna know what you want.”

_Things you can’t give me._ Sans didn’t say. Not that Red didn’t want to. That he _couldn’t_, and Sans knew it. Asking for tenderness, for actual love? Might as well start gathering up his underwear and shoes, get ready for a week of Paps trying to cram him with ice cream and advice.

Instead, Sans slipped a hand between Red’s legs and gave his dick a hard enough squeeze to make him yelp. Didn’t stop him from trying to follow that grip, but Sans let go almost immediately.

“come up here and ride my face,” Sans offered. It wasn’t an answer to Red’s question, but it was the only concession Sans was going to give him.

Red didn’t argue, already knee-walking his way up. Sans was too tired to try for teasing, only opened his teeth to let Red press inside. Focused on making Red moan, on taking a quick puff of breath between each thrust into his throat, curling his tongue around the length and muffling his own shameless moans in cock.

Not exactly what he wanted, but, eh. When you knew your kinks would set off a safeword from the get-go, you kept them to yourself.

-fin


	6. Chapter 6

* * *

anonymous asked:

_2\. "Hey, hey, calm down. They cant hurt you anymore" Spicyhoney?_

Weird the ideas I come up with for these. But I liked this one.

* * *

The wave of bones sent the Humans scrambling away, shrieking as if they’d been struck. Not that they had, it was only a warning, one that Edge cast out the moment he found the source of the screaming. Actually hitting Humans with a magic attack was reserved for moments of life or death, preferably his own.

The Humans ran and the bones vanished, but Edge wasn’t concerned for them. His attention was on the young woman who had been screaming. She was weeping, curled up against the wall and a bookbag was next to her, most of the contents spilled out on the ground. At her knees, her tights were shredded, showing scraped skin, a sign she’d not gone to ground willingly.

Campus was normally very safe, better than most of Ebott in Edge’s opinion, and there was a collection of small shops nearby that Stretch liked to frequent. The screaming had broken the peace of the evening the moment they stepped from the shop and running towards it was an automatic as breathing to Edge. There would always be weaker people who couldn’t stand for themselves. Edge was not one of them and if they needed him, he could stand for them.

But dealing with a young, weeping Human was past his skills.

He’d heard Stretch on his phone calling 911 as he cast his attack, but now Stretch crouched down next to her, keeping back far enough for a quick shortcut if she lashed out, “hey, hey, calm down. they can’t hurt you anymore.”

She raised her head, sniffling. Makeup was smudged around her eyes, her face blotchy from her tears. She blinked at Stretch, her gaze flicking up to Edge, switching between them warily. Not any more afraid than she’d already been, at least. It would have to be enough.

“there you are.” Stretch gave her the same winsome grin that had charmed plenty of Humans into loyal Twitter followers. Whatever magic it held did the trick; the young woman let out a shuddery sob but seemed to be calming. “hey, don’t you worry. we’ll hang out until the police come, okay?”

Not at all what Edge would prefer but he kept his opinions to himself. If nothing else, they could make a quick exit when they arrived and supply a statement through the Embassy.

Stretch settled to sit cross-legged on the sidewalk, uncaring of pebbles and cigarette butts. “what’s your name?”

“Minji.” Hardly more than a thread of sound, but Stretch nodded.

“that’s pretty cool. is it korean?” Edge couldn’t understand what Stretch said next, but the girl brightened immediately, launching into a burble of words. The two of them chatted while Edge kept watch, until a car with emergency lights pulled up next to them.

Campus security, Edge noted with some relief. The police would come too, but she would be safe with them until they arrived.

Somewhere in the middle of their chatter, Edge heard his own name from Stretch, and then from the girl, formed into a question.

“Edge?” He turned to her, raising a brow bone. She gave him a tentative smile, warm even topped by her tear-swollen eyes. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Edge said gruffly. He turned back away, letting Stretch distract her, the two of them moving to gather her belongings back into her bookbag. 

The Man that came out of the security vehicle was out of breath before he even got to them, Edge noted with a frown, and there was nothing on his belt except a walkie-talkie. No nightstick or even pepper spray. Not an ideal protector, not one he could trust.

Edge supposed they could wait for the police, after all. 

-fin


	7. Chapter 7

* * *

sheewolf85 asked:

_Hey so somehow I didn’t see there was an actual ask meme going on; I thought ppl were just sending in requests lol. If you’re still taking requests, I’d like to suggest # 1 and 9 for some cute and fluffy Spicyhoney._

I have two other asks for #9, so I stuck with #1, “That’s starting to get annoying”

I don’t think I managed cute and fluffy in this one? Closer to comfort for old hurts, but with sweetness at the end. Set back when Edge and Stretch first started dating.

* * *

“this looks like it hurt.”

He stiffened as Stretch’s fingertips lingered on one of the ridged scars on his ribs. “That’s starting to get annoying.”

“sorry.” Stretch began to pull away and Edge turned quickly, catching his hand in a gentle grip.

“No, wait. I’m sorry, I’m not accustomed to…this.” For all that they’d been dating for a couple months now, a dwindling part of Edge expected scorn at that confession, mocking, and he gritted his teeth, waiting.

Instead, Stretch only offered, “i can stop?”

Edge exhaled slowly, considering. They’d been sitting together on the sofa earlier, watching a movie when Stretch had asked him if he could take off his shirt in a tone of sly flirtation. At the time, he’d been agreeable enough. He didn’t suffer from body shyness; his uniform in Underfell had exposed his spine and the upper curves of his iliac crests daily.

Revealing his bones was not much of an issue. Having Stretch touching him, though, that…that was…

Those gentle fingertips settled on his ribs again, Stretch’s palm pressed to his ribs, unmoving. “you okay?”

Of course he was okay, it was only a hand on him. A simple, gentle touch. He’d been touched before, many times. As a child, he had vague memories of Sans occasionally grabbing him, dragging him along, sleeping next to him on the coldest nights and…and there had been the spiders, no, no, that wasn’t the same—

He had no memory of anyone touching him like this.

“Don’t stop,” Edge said, hoarsely. “Please.”

But that light, careful touch didn’t move. Edge forced himself to look over his shoulder and Stretch looked startled, his eye lights wide.

He started to pull roughly away, already reaching for his shirt.

“woah, hold on!” Stretch scrambled over him, snatching his shirt and tossing it out of reach. Before Edge could even assimilate to the suddenness of having Stretch in his lap, slender arms were around him, pulling him in, holding him close.

Edge closed his sockets, sliding his own arms around Stretch and pulling him closer still. He came willingly, settling his skull next to Edge’s. The length of his body all but molded against Edge, the two of them fitting together like the last pieces of a puzzle.

The sweet smell of his magic was growing so familiar. Edge buried his face against Stretch’s shoulder, breathing it in as gentle hands began wandering again, moving slowly, giving him a chance to object.

Edge only held Stretch tighter and let him touch.

-fin


	8. Chapter 8

hj-skb1 asked:

_if it’s not too late to send one in, perhaps #9 if it’s to your fancy... :^D “You can’t banish me! This is my bed too!”_

crysta-cub said:

_Ok 9 and 16 would be good for our spicyhoney boys_

Not too late! Since these both asked for 9, I’m combining them. #16 is: “You’re getting crumbs all over my bed.”

* * *

“You’re getting crumbs all over my bed.”

Edge leaned against the doorjamb, looking into the bedroom where Stretch was sprawled on top of the comforter with a thick book open in front of him. The crumbs in question were coming from the cookies he was absently munching, a small bowl of them at his elbow. Worse still, they weren’t even cookies Edge made but some vile store-bought chocolate ones, filled with a disgusting mixture that was mostly shortening and sugar.

“your bed?” Stretch looked up at him, licking away some of the crumbs in question from his bony fingers. “seems like it was our bed last night.”

“Last night you were naked and begging in it,” Edge observed idly. “Were you looking for a repeat performance?”

The blush that warmed Stretch’s cheekbones told one story, his words another as he lifted his chin stubbornly. “no. i want to finish this book and my snack, thanks. i mean, since this isn’t my bed and all.”

Edge allowed a smile to quirk the corner of his mouth. No doubt he was going to be paying for that little slip of the tongue. Well, if he owed a penny, may as well make it a pound.

The cookies scattered across the comforter as Stretch flailed, trying to escape from Edge suddenly climbing atop him and sprawling across his back. Edge didn’t bother trying to hold his hands, only let his weight pin Stretch against the mattress as he snugged his pelvis against Stretch’s, tangling their legs together and settling his chin on Stretch’s clavicle.

Stretch’s squirming and bucking was useless and only served to knock the book to the floor, and the rock of his pelvis against Edge’s was mostly an accidental tease. But the irritation in his voice was couched in laughter. “get off, asshole!”

“Uh uh,” Edge nuzzled the side of his skull, “it’s my bed, I’m lying on it.”

“it’s not your bed, anymore, i claim it! i was here first and i banish all interlopers!”

Edge chuckled. “You can’t banish me. This is my bed, too.”

He rose up enough to let Stretch wriggle his way around until they were facing each other, and his husband promptly wound his legs tightly around Edge’s hips. “ha! now you’re mine!”

Edge nuzzled a kiss against his mouth. “I always was.”

“babe,” Stretch sighed, “you always wreck a good joke with your love—ah! ohhhh, your sugar is better than cookies, anyway…” He trailed off into a moan as Edge kissed his way lower. Later, they’d change the sheets together, shaking away any lingering cookie crumbs. For now, they set about proving the bed belonged to them both, in every way.

-fin


	9. Chapter 9

* * *

crysta-cub asked:

_I love those drabble things. I hope you don't mind I also like combining them.... 43, 44, 85. Have fun._

When I first read this one, i thought it was asking for the one with the vasectomy and I was lost on how I could write that, LOL! Luckily I was wrong. 

43\. “I feel like I can’t breathe.”  
44\. “You need to see a doctor.”

85\. “I’m not going to be sympathetic until you go to a doctor.”

* * *

“I feel like I can’t breathe.”

Stretch sank down next to the sofa and set his armful on the coffee table. A wet cloth, more Kleenex, a fresh jar of Vicks. Edge didn’t open his sockets when Stretch took the old cloth off his forehead. He did sigh and lean into Stretch’s hand when he settled it on his forehead, testing his temperature.

Stretch frowned at the heat. “you need to see a doctor.”

“I’m fine.”

“uh huh. didn’t you just say you can’t breathe?” He settled the fresh chilly cloth on Edge’s forehead, and he groaned loudly. His pleasure turned to a grumble as Stretch tugged his blanket down, drawing up his t-shirt to rub more Vicks on his ribs. By the time he was done, Edge was shivering and Stretch quickly bundled him back up in the blankets.

“How can I be cold and hot at the same time?” Edge moaned.

“because you have a cold and they work in mysterious ways. listen, i’m not going to be sympathetic until you go to a doctor.”

Edge was silent and at first Stretch thought he’d fallen asleep. He busied himself with tidying up the used tissues and empty glasses, and then from behind him, low, “I don’t think I can drive myself.”

Oh.

That made Stretch swallow down a mouthful of guilt, because if he could damn well drive this wouldn’t be an issue, which was probably why Edge waited so long to begin with, letting himself get sicker because he didn’t want Stretch to feel bad about not being able to take him.

Welp, guilt wasn’t going to get the medicine.

“I’ll give andy a call,” Stretch said, not letting it be a question. “he can drive.” And it would come with less, erm, problems than asking either of their brothers. Blue would scold them for not asking sooner and Red…yeah, better to ask Andy.

Edge’s jaw tightened, but he nodded, and Stretch rewarded him with a peck on the cheek as he reached for his phone. Yeah, Edge probably wasn’t keen on Andy seeing him as less than the mighty defender, Stretch was on to Edge about that, but if there was one thing he could count on from his bestie, it was compassion.

He scrolled down on his contact list and hit the call button, petting Edge’s feverish skull with his free hand. The line picked up on less than one ring. “heya, handy andy! got a favor to ask—”

-fin


	10. Chapter 10

* * *

crysta-cub asked 

_Drabble list #2 with #104_

Is anyone surprised it’s more Spicyhoney? 

#104 “I’ve never felt stronger than when you’re with me.”

* * *

Something was going on with Stretch.

Edge didn’t notice it at first. The signs were subtle. First, he started doing more housework than normal. He never normally left things a mess while Edge was at work, but now the house was neat as a pin whenever he came in, not a coaster out of place.

The next change was more obvious. Edge was accustomed to bringing Stretch drinks and treats when he was home, glasses of lemonade when he was out with the chickens or plates with chips and homemade dip when he was watching television. But lately, Stretch had taken to going to the kitchen for his own treats. Edge would think to bring him a drink only to find a full glass sitting next to him.

It was bewildering, even a little hurtful. Edge wasn’t completely oblivious to his need to care for others and bringing Stretch food was one of the ways he preferred to show his love. Being unable to do so was upsetting, and more than once he’d been forced to scrape a snack into a bowl for the refrigerator in the hopes of offering it again later.

On the fourth day, he’d had enough.

Stretch blinked up at him when he stormed over to the sofa, plopping down his plate of cookies next to the plate that was already there. His yelp as Edge scooped him up was more surprise than protest, and he allowed Edge to settle him into his lap.

“What’s going on?” Edge asked bluntly.

He could already feel the evasion before Stretch said a word. He glanced away and said with blatantly false confusion, “what do you—”

“Don’t,” Edge said quietly. He traced Stretch’s cheekbone with one gloved fingertip, down to the line of his jaw. “Not with me, love. Please, what’s wrong?”

Stretch sagged, blinking hard, “it’s stupid.”

“No. It’s not. What’s wrong?”

A long, wobbly sigh. “that day, at the embassy. that guy, what’s his name, jerry?”

A curl of distaste rose in Edge at the mere name. But he remembered that day. Stretch had stopped by for lunch and on their way out, he’d made some teasing comment about having to walk all the way downstairs because _some_ people couldn’t teleport. Edge had repaid him for that by scooping him up, carrying him through the hallways to the amusement of his coworkers. Not that Stretch had an ounce of shame, he’d allowed it for most of the way—

Until Jerry walked by and made some rude comment about Edge being whipped.

Edge only ignored it; Jerry was a bitter, lonely Monster and his opinions held no weight. But Stretch squirmed his way loose a moment later and walked the rest of the way. Yes, that made sense, it was after that Stretch started trying to do more, trying, Edge supposed, to show that he didn’t think Edge was ‘whipped’, whatever that fool notion meant.

“Please don’t tell me you think I care anything about what that idiot says?”

From the way Stretch blinked hard, his eye lights too-bright, that was exactly what he thought.

Edge sighed and pulled Stretch in tighter, kissing him softly on the top of his skull. “Love, I’ve never felt stronger than when you’re with me. I don’t care what anyone else thinks. What I know is I am a better person with you.”

“but…” Stretch swallowed hard. “i don’t want to bother you. you don’t have to take care of me all the time. you didn’t have to carry me, i was just being a shit and—”

“But nothing. How could you possibly be bothering me?” Edge asked, with honest confusion. “I love you and I _want_ to care for you. Let me do what I want, and fuck what anyone else thinks about it.”

A long silence, then Stretch nodded a little. He snuggled into Edge with a watery sigh, letting Edge pull him in closer. The television blared on with whatever silly program Stretch was watching. Edge didn’t care. It would probably take a day, perhaps a few, to get back to their normal.

In the meantime, perhaps Jerry needed a transfer to a different department.

Something in the basement would be preferable, someplace where he could learn the importance of keeping his mouth shut. 

-fin


	11. Chapter 11

constantly-tired-reader asked:

_If you're still taking requests, 22. "Did you just hiss at me?" for Spicyhoney please?_

Anonymous said:  
_i literally cannot find the fic but the one where stretch and edge go to the arcade and edge gets that huge mirgane etc. and "did you hiss at me?" spiceyhoney ofc c:_  
Ah, that story is [Toying Around](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18409532/chapters/44445667), plus sequels

This one took me a bit, I had to think about it. But I figured snuggles are never wrong.

* * *

Half-asleep as he was, Edge didn’t really register what the sound of the curtains meant until the sunshine fell across his face. It was like an icepick wrapped in cotton jabbing into his skull and he immediately turned away from it, burrowing into the cushion behind him.

From behind him, Edge heard, “did you just hiss at me?” Then came horrified realization. “oh. oh, fuck i’m sorry!” The scrape of the curtain rings against the rods was more chaotic this time, the sound of frantic movement coupled with a furious whisper, “i’m sorry, i’m so sorry, i was on autopilot, i didn’t think!”

Edge slit open one socket to the once again blessedly dark room. “It’s all right.”

Luckily, his migraine hadn’t taken the opportunity to return to full bloom. He rolled back over. The day before was coming back to him; the arcade, the migraine, waking up in the middle of the night alone and wanting nothing more than to sleep next to his husband. Coming downstairs and curling up with Stretch on the sofa.

That was hours ago. Now through the darkened living room he could see Stretch standing by the window, visibly guilt-stricken.

That would never do.

“Would you like to make it up to me?” Edge offered in a low whisper.

He was inordinately proud of the sudden suspicion on Stretch’s face. His husband was a Monster of good sense. “yes?”

“Come here.” Watching Stretch warily shuffle closer brought a fond smile to his face. His headache was much better, proved when Stretch’s squawk of outrage as Edge grabbed him the moment he was within range didn’t hurt at all. With the skill of long practice, Edge manhandled his husband’s long limbs back onto the sofa, dragging the comforter back over him until they were both cocooned. Then he sighed contently, settling his skull on Stretch’s ribcage, over his soul.

“um, edge?” He could feel the faint vibration from the words.

“Hold still,” Edge told him with sleepy sternness. There was no question that Stretch had already told Janice he wouldn’t be in to work today, so he may as well enjoy the day off.

A tentative hand curved around his skull and Edge sighed again at the tenderness in the touch. A little more rest and he’d be able to endure the sun again.

Something soft brushed against his face and Edge cracked open his sockets, staring almost cross-eyed at a pale blur, what the–

He couldn’t help a low chuckle as he realized what Stretch was holding. “What was I thinking? Come here, Pot Pie, we can’t nap without you.”

He tucked the blanket around the stuffed chicken as well, the three of them well cushioned against the world.

Again, words vibrated from the rib cage beneath his skull, filled with exasperated amusement. “someday, i’ll have my phone handy when you say something like that.”

“Thank you for the warning,” Edge yawned. He snuggled in closer to both stuffed chicken and spouse, settling back into sleep. He wasn’t fond of naps, but even he knew they were always better with someone you loved. 

-fin


	12. Chapter 12

* * *

Okay, so this one isn’t exactly within the realm of the drabble challenge because there was no phrase chosen. But frankpanioncube had a request for a drabble ‘where Stretch uses BSL or ASL either one.’

I liked the idea; Stretch in BAON is multi-lingual already, so I wrote something for it. So here we go, Stretch using sign language.

* * *

Several years outside of Underfell, Edge’s view on collars had changed. Even his brother stopped wearing his after a while, with some grudgingness. This universe did not accept them as a symbol of protection, and they’d been forced to adjust.

That said, there were times he wished he could put Stretch on a leash.

It was his second attempt at assessing the flower displays in Ebott park. This time, he’d finished his assessment, but when he’d looked up again, Stretch was gone, vanished into the joggers, playing children, and food vendors that wandered the park.

They were in a public place. Stretch was perfectly safe. That was what Edge told himself as he searched, past the playground equipment and the tennis courts. When he finally caught sight of Stretch, he was filled with relief. It quickly turned to bemusement and Edge kept back, watching.

The freckle-faced child couldn’t have been more than five, his green eyes wide as he watched Stretch rapidly signing. His husband was sitting on the ground with the little boy and his slender fingers moved gracefully, talking for him as quickly as his mouth usually did. He paused for a moment, giving the boy a chance to reply, his smaller, chubby fingers moving less agilely. Whatever he said, Stretch laughed aloud and the sound of it made Edge’s soul clench, filling with warmth. 

He was so focused on them that when a young woman came up next to him, he was almost startled, regarding her warily as she said, “Are you his husband?”

Her hair was as red as the child’s, making it a fair guess that she was the mother even without the way she signed along with her words. Edge nodded, saying apologetically, “Yes, I am. I’m afraid I don’t speak the Human version of Hands.”

“Hands…oh, ASL.” The Woman turned back to watch their people chatting in a flutter of hands. Her smile was gentle. “When Ian saw your husband, he was scared. So, he sat down to talk with him for a bit. As you can see, they’re getting along fine.”

“Stretch likes children,” Edge murmured.

She laughed. “I can tell.” She hesitated, obviously considering her words and Edge waited patiently. Being overly cautious about offending was certainly better than the alternative. “He’s never met a Monster before and seeing them on television isn’t the same. Your husband said you work for the Embassy?”

“I do,” Edge said, warily. Here was where some Humans began asking for unearned favors.

The Woman seemed to follow the line of his thoughts and laughed, shaking her head, “No, no, it’s nothing bad. But I work with the PTA at my son’s school and we were discussing perhaps there might be an opportunity for us to work out a way for Monster children to have a playdate of sorts with Human ones.” Before Edge could say a word, she hurried on, “I understand there’s a question of safety, but perhaps we could start with something simple. An assembly where the children can sit together to watch a show?”

That…was not a terrible idea. The Monster children needed more experience with Humans and giving a chance for Human children to adjust to the idea of Monsters would help eliminate some of the problems they faced now in the near future.

“I can have someone contact you about it,” Edge offered. The Woman, Aileen, he learned, was eager to offer her number. In the meantime, Stretch had noticed him, and the nimble movements of his hands slowed, his gaze questioning.

He didn’t use it often, but Edge remembered how to speak in Hands. He used it now, telling Stretch, _no rush_.

Stretch’s grin was as bright as the sunshine overhead. He turned back to the child, Ian, his clever hands flying and Edge could have watched him forever.

But he was still thinking about getting a leash.

-finis-


	13. Chapter 13

* * *

sheewolf85 asked:

_For drabble list 2, can I suggest 49 and 60?_

49: “Take off your shirt.”

60: “Can we just pretend like we’re normal for once?”

I haven’t given up on these yet, still working on them!

* * *

“take off your shirt.”

Edge looked up from a display of planters with a frown. “Based on your excitement alone, I feel like I’m obligated to say no.”

Going to the outdoor craft show was Stretch’s idea, and it was interesting, the different items on display, but Edge wasn’t sure the crafters would have a good attitude about unexpected skeletal nudity.

“oh, come on, would i embarrass you in public—nope, couldn’t say that one with a straight face. c’mon, please?” Stretch wheedled.

“Can we just pretend like we’re normal for once?”

“what’s abnormal about trying on a new shirt? okay, how about this,” Stretch’s sly grin was more suspicious than his excitement. “you do this for me and i’ll owe you a favor.”

“A favor,” Edge repeated flatly.

“yep! a favor. any favor.” Stretch’s voice always held a hint of a rasp, a leftover from the amount of cigarettes he smoked. The sound of it was like a caress in the audial canal, an unspoken but very sincere promise.

With a disgruntled sigh, Edge pulled his T-shirt off. Stretch barely took a moment for an appreciative look before he was pulling another shirt over Edge’s head, tugging it down.

“there!” Stretch said gleefully.

Edge looked down at the plain shirtfront with a frown. “That seems suspiciously pointless.”

“no, no, see, you’re always complaining that i get lost, right?” Stretch whirled around and printed on the back of his shirt was ‘if lost, please return to the Edgelord.’

With a touch of dread, Edge craned his neck to look over his own shoulder. He couldn’t see all of the text, but he could see enough to know that his shirt was declaring him the Edgelord.

“No,” Edge said, firmly, already reaching for the hem.

“awww, come on!”

“No, not a chance, and never, in that order.”

“you suck,” Stretch sulked, but he was amicable about handing Edge his own shirt back.

“No, that will be you this evening,” Edge said breezily. He tucked the edgelord shirt into his bag, on the theory that depending on Stretch’s mood, if he didn’t keep it he might well stumble across someone else with it on later.

Stretch opened his mouth to protest and Edge gave his chin a light tap. “Yes, that’s the spirit. The favor was for taking my shirt off, if you wanted something else, you should have negotiated better.”

“oh, you’ll get your favor,” Stretch said darkly and Edge was already anticipating a little delicious suffering tonight. In the meantime, he took hold of Stretch’s hand, twining their fingers together. It wouldn’t hold Stretch for long, but getting him in a leash would be a more expensive favor than Edge was willing to pay for. For now, anyway.

-fin


	14. Chapter 14

* * *

crysta-cub asked:

_Ok ok... I try not tk submit Ok ok... I try not tk submit too many of these but... This wouldnt leave mu head... Drabble list 2 with #56 and #78 but adding a scenario of Stretch sees a spider on Edge and tries to discreetly remove it with either Edge or the spider making it difficult. Maybe add #54 or #83 if Edge ends up seeing it._

There’s something about seeing a character who is usually the protective one having a weakness that at least they think of as silly or childish. I doubt Stretch thinks of Edge’s arachnophobia that way and he certainly wouldn’t if he knew the story behind it.

56\. “Would you just hold still?”

78\. “I’m just looking out for you.”

54\. “They’re gone.”

* * *

“hey, hold still a minute.”

Edge froze automatically, but looked over his shoulder at Stretch with suspicion. “Why?”

Stretch shook his head sadly. “always with questions. i’m not feeling the trust, babe.”

“I trust you with my life. My dignity, however—“

“yeah, yeah, i’m an asshole. would you just hold still?”

For all that Stretch seemed perfectly normal, even grinning at him, there seemed to be an odd strain beneath it. Edge frowned but did as he asked, not flinching as bony fingertips scrabbled over the back of his shirt.

“damn it,” Stretch muttered and again, the brush of fingertips.

“what are you doing?” Edge said, exasperated. If this was a lead up to something, then the intro wasn’t selling him on the idea.

“i’m just looking out for you, pretty baby love,” Stretch said and Edge huffed his disapproval of that particular pet name. The nearly ticklish sensation of fingers stopped abruptly. “gotcha, fucker.”

“What…?” Edge turned in confusion as Stretch stepped away from him, holding his hands cupped in front of him. More bewildering was his use of magic to open the sliding door and Edge walked over to watch him crouch, holding his hands outside before he opened them. The sight of a spider skittering from its skeletal cage made him step back automatically, swallowing back a humiliating sound.

“there!” Stretch stood, exaggeratedly dusting off his hands. He turned to Edge, his smile faintly sheepish. “they’re gone. sorry, babe, i didn’t want to say there was a spider on your shirt and..mmph!”

The rest was smothered beneath a kiss as Edge grabbed the front of his t-shirt and hauled him forward. Surprise melted into willingness, Stretch meeting Edge’s desperation and gentling it, until they parted with a sigh.

“Thank you,” Edge told him simply. This close, their height difference was more obvious, forcing him to look up. Soft orange was flushing Stretch’s cheekbones and Edge traced it with a gloved fingertip, watching as it brightened beneath his touch.

“keep giving me those as a reward and i’ll rescue you from mosquitoes.” It was a gentle tease, but more than that, it was an escape route, and Stretch would never press him about it, never mock him for his ridiculous fears. His sockets widened as Edge reached up to cup Stretch’s face in both hands as he took another kiss. Gentler, this time, trying to communicate his gratitude in a way words could never manage.

Stretch’s slim fingers circled Edge’s wrists, not trying to pull him away, only holding on, and whatever meaning Stretch took from this kiss, he only returned love.

When Edge made to draw back again, Stretch broke the kiss but refused to let go, dropping his forehead to rest it against Edge’s.

“anytime, babe,” Stretch told him quietly and Edge nodded, bone softly scraping bone, and kissed him again.

It probably wasn’t possible for him to love Stretch more, but he could certainly try.

-fin


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I want to thank everyone for submitting these requests! I’m still working on them and they have been a ton of fun!
> 
> Second, I’m going to beg some forgiveness here. I try really hard to reply to comments but this one time on this series, I’m going to have to let it go. I wrote so many of these in such a short time and 60+ Comments later, I’m exhausted thinking about trying to reply to them all. So please forgive me this one time.
> 
> And please know I absolutely treasure each and every comment. Nothing makes me happier than sharing my writing and knowing people are enjoying it. If you’ve asked a question, I will try to answer it, promise!

Crysta-cub said:

_ drabble list #2 with #18 _

Oooh, yes. #18. “That was kind of hot.”

* * *

In Underfell, Undyne had been the one to truly teach Edge how to fight, past the dirty street techniques he’d learned from his brother and what he’d picked up by simply living. 

It was through her that Edge learned elegance through brutality, made it his own, elevated her teachings into methods that worked with his magic. He still practiced, refusing to let his skills atrophy and when he had time, he worked with this universe’s Undyne, passing on what he’d been taught.

In the Aboveground, it was YouTube that taught him tai chi. 

He was well aware that his skills were hardly past beginner and occasionally considered taking a class in town to enhance his learning. Perhaps in some distant, mythical time when he was less busy. For now, this basic routine was enough. 

Their backyard was private enough for him to feel comfortable closing his sockets to embrace calm, flowing from one form to the next. He’d memorized it long ago, focusing on his breathing, and by the end, he felt nothing in his soul but peace.

“that was kind of hot.”

Well, a moment of peace was better than nothing.

Edge turned to see Stretch sitting on the back porch steps. He wasn’t smoking, yet, but his lighter was in his hand. That it wasn’t flicking through his fingers was a positive sign.

“It’s not supposed to be hot,” Edge told him tartly. But he was more amused than exasperated. “It’s relaxing.”

“uh huh, you po-tay-to, me po-tah-to.”

“Come here.”

That made Stretch blink, and Edge could see his mental backtracking, almost see him thinking ‘oh, shit’ behind his eye lights. “nah, it’s cool, i get it, relaxing.”

“Come here,” Edge repeated, patiently. His amusement rose as Stretch did, his bare feet dragging and looking for all the world like a very tall child about to be scolded. 

When he finally arrived, Edge stepped behind him, catching him gently by the wrists and setting their feet side by side. “Follow me.”

The first movements were clumsy, much worse than even Edge’s first uncertain attempt. But Stretch relaxed quickly, allowing Edge to guide him. Not so much a life-size marionette as Stretch giving control over to him and Edge sternly told his soul the trill of excitement that came from that was inappropriate. By the last form, they were almost in sync.

“Deep breath,” Edge murmured as he held the last pose, “Now let it out.” He waited while Stretch obeyed. “And how do you feel.”

“after ten minutes of you pressed up against me, manhandling me around?” Stretch said dryly. “babe, i love you, but i am not relaxed.”

Edge chuckled softly. “I suppose it’s not for everyone. Well, I need to hurry if I don’t want to be late for work.”

He kept his smirk hidden, buried beneath his hard-won calm as Stretch sputtered behind him, “hey, wait! don’t leave me like this, you—“

Whatever Stretch was going to call him was cut off by the sliding glass door. His calm for the day was going to be a little off-center, certainly, but leaving Stretch fuming and frustrated would have his temper gloriously riled by the time Edge came home tonight, and that was a reward well worth the price. 

-fin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do like the idea of Edge trying to find positive ways to deal with his stress and LV. A shame that some people make it a little harder for him. (No pun intended)


	16. Chapter 16

* * *

be-the-library asked:

_Hello if your still doing the drabble prompts could I ask for this please? Thank you Drabble list 2 number 81 and 82_

I am!

81\. “Come with me.

82\. “I trust you.”

* * *

“edge?” The slight nudge woke him as much as his name and Edge sat halfway up with a jerk, already reaching for his magic with an attack starting to shimmer in the air.

“it’s just me!” Hastily, and the voice filtered through the leftover clutter of sleep clouding Edge’s mind. Even through the darkness he could see that Stretch was standing at the side of the bed, his normal bedtime nudity covered up in shorts and a t-shirt.

It did not escape Edge’s notice that Stretch had stayed well out of arm’s reach before trying to wake him. That raised a complex emotion; relief that Stretch did so, sorrow that it was necessary. But it didn’t answer the question of why.

“What is it, what’s wrong?” Edge demanded.

“woah, woah, nothing’s wrong.” From the way he was shifting from foot to foot, Stretch was excited about something, but the glow of his eye lights dwindled in uncertainty. “come with me.”

Wordlessly, Edge kicked off the blankets, sliding his feet into his slippers and following Stretch out the bedroom door. He led them downstairs without turning on the lights, not bothering with shoes of his own as he went through the back door.

“you didn’t even ask where we were going,” Stretch whispered. Beneath the laughter was a touch of nervousness that Edge did not like. His husband had strange ideas and made bizarre plans, true, but never thoughtlessly. Edge couldn’t think of a single time he hadn’t been content to follow Stretch; he’d follow wherever his love led.

He caught Stretch’s hand in his own. The bones were cool, jerking slightly at his touch and Edge squeezing gently. “I trust you.”

“hope you still do after this.”

When Stretch sat right on the ground, Edge followed the tug of his hand, mirroring him as he lay back in the grass. The chickens didn’t come out of their coop, surely asleep and dreaming whatever corncob imaginings occupied their little minds. He didn’t say anything, only lay looking up at the stars cast across the velvety night.

“What—" Edge began. Then he saw it. A streak of light across the sky.

“it’s the perseid meteor shower,” Stretch said softly. Barely, Edge could see the flicker of his eye lights, following another flash as it shot through the heavens. “it’s better to watch it early in the morning. i know you’re not as into astronomy as i am, but—"

“Tell me about the Perseid meteor shower,” Edge interrupted him. He kept his voice low, let the hush of it carry through the still night. “Tell me everything you know.”

The hand in his own tightened briefly, thumb grazing over Edge’s knuckles. “okay. it’s actually caused by the swift-tuttle comet. they only discovered that in the nineteenth century and—"

Edge let the gentle tenor of his husband’s voice wash over him, listening as he explained the origin of the meteor shower, what meteors were, and if he’d ever told Edge before, he didn’t care. He wanted to hear it again, listen to Stretch’s excitement, bask in the warmth of his delight as they watched those brief flashes streak across the starry sky.

-fin

* The Perseid meteor shower was a couple of weeks ago and I always picture Stretch as being very excited for it. ^_^


	17. Chapter 17

_crysta-cub asked:_

_alright I'm gonna be selfish and bratty and shit. But I wanna bring back that sick drabble where Stretch calls Jeff to help him bring Edge to the doctors... Using the love drabble list #18 #19 #44... Because I'm a brat. Love you._

Okay, yeah, I can do that! [The original is here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20283289/chapters/48118693). 

18\. “Here, drink this. You’ll feel better.”  
19\. “Can I hold your hand?”  
44\. “I’ll drive you to the hospital.”

* * *

Stretch probably would have enjoyed the hilarity that was Jeff driving Edge’s car a lot more if it hadn’t started with the magic words, “I’ll drive you to the hospital.”

As it was, the snarky little goblin that lived in his thoughts couldn’t help but get a snicker out of it (sounded a lot like Red, actually, and he wondered what his shrink would say about that). Edge was pretty careful driver, but Jeff was focused like they were actually trying for that bank robbery; hands at ten and two, coming to a complete stop every time. He was driving like Edge was glaring fiery death from the backseat at him every time he took too long to hit the turn signal.

Stretch kinda wished he was. It would be a helluva lot better than him being curled up in the back, lying with his long legs drawn up to his chest and his skull resting in the dubious pillow of Stretch’s lap. His normally toasty warm body temp was hot enough right now that Stretch was a little worried they could try to fry an egg on his forehead. Way too hot and he wasn’t sweating to make up for it, either. His breathing was congested, rattling with every exhale.

Pretty damn sick was what he was, and if anyone knew how that looked, it was Stretch. He was accustomed to being the sick one around these parts, the one who got fretted about until he was ready to take a vacation in the void just to get a moment’s peace. Turned out that being tails side of this particular coin flip sucked pretty hard, too. Edge was supposed to smell like spice and warmth, with a side order of cookies on Saturdays, not Vicks VapoRub and sickness. He was supposed to smell like home.

In his lap, Edge stirred, his sockets slitting open only enough for his hazy eye lights to show. He swallowed dryly, mumbling out something that was mostly consonants. There was a bottle of water stashed in the door compartment and Stretch grabbed it, twisting off the top. “here, drink this. you’ll feel better.”

He held it while Edge took a few messy sips, water dripping down to soak through his pants. He didn’t care, only waited until Edge had his fill and sank back into his lap with a sigh.

“You two okay back there?” Jeff asked. He met Stretch’s gaze in the rearview mirror, all anxious concern even as he negotiated his way onto the freeway.

“We’re okay,” Edge mumbled. Probably more for Stretch’s benefit than his own and there was his baby, trying to mama bear even when he was sick as hell and feverish. One of his hands groped upward, reaching, “Can I hold your hand?”

“sure.” His voice sounded as rough as Edge’s. He cleared his throat and took Edge’s hand gently in his own, the softness of his gloves sliding along bone as Edge curled their fingers together.

He’d be okay, he’d be just fine, Stretch told himself, and held on to Edge’s hand as Jeff turned into the hospital drive.

fin-


	18. Chapter 18

_crysta-cub asked:_

_Ok ok... Temptation has taken hold of me and I'm throwing you a big old bad one... #7, #41, #57,#81... Can do all or some your choice and I'll let you choose if you wanna do a continuation of the sick story or do a more original drabble. :P_

Whew, people like Edge when he’s all sick and needy! Obviously I do, too, so here’s a third:

7\. “I dreamt about you last night.”  
41\. “Go back to sleep.”  
57\. “There is enough room for both of us.”  
81\. “Sweet dreams.”

[First Sick Drabble](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20283289/chapters/48118693)| [Second Sick Drabble](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20283289/chapters/48733604)

* * *

It was so hot, parched heat on his bones, and Edge’s first bleary thought was that he’d been attacked in Hotland. Cool wetness swiped across his face and he turned towards it eagerly, groaning as it licked over his sweaty skull, a tongue of cool blueness caressing away the heat. No, it was a wet cloth, he realized, and a hand came with it, gently wiping his overheated bones.

Opening his sockets took all his energy. The hand was Stretch’s, he was sitting next to the bed, and Edge tried to smile at him, croaking out, “I dreamt about you last night.”

“i’d be flattered if you had any wits rattling in your skull right now,” Stretch said, with a certain grim humor. He dipped the cloth into a bowl of water on the bedside table, wringing it out and settling it back on Edge’s forehead. “go back to sleep, you’re sick as hell, babe. you’re gonna be fine, doc says you just need to sweat it out, but you need to rest.”

Well, that was rude. He had plenty of wits, stacks of them, jars, bags? However you stored wits, Edge had them, and to prove it, he patted the bed next to him invitingly. Or, well, he tried to make it inviting, his hand flopped somewhat listlessly, but surely his intention was clear. Especially when he added, with all the seductiveness he could muster, “There’s enough room for both of us.”

That Stretch only barked out a laugh and shook his head was rather insulting. “babe, you’re a wildcat in the sheets for sure, but right now i don’t think you’re up to play cat’s cradle, much less get a little pussy.”

Even ruder! Honestly, Edge didn’t think there was cause to be so vulgar, and would have said so if his sockets hadn’t somehow closed again. That cloth disappeared again and he whimpered at the loss, only to groan in relief as it returned, wet and gloriously cool.

“go back to sleep, love,” Soft, sweet familiar voice. “sweet dreams.”

_They will be if I dream of you_, Edge thought, but he was asleep before he could say a single word.

-fin


	19. Chapter 19

_crysta-cub asked:_

_Alright not sooooo bratty but for the love drabbles. #50 #63_

Hey there’s more than one kind of love, right? Jeff and Stretch are platonic soulmates, so they can love each other, too!

50\. “I think you’re beautiful.

83\. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”

* * *

“Can I ask you something?”

It probably would have been good manners to look at Jeff while he was talking, but eh, seemed like a lot of effort to put out while he was trying to eat his choco taco.

They were lying in soft grass of the front yard surrounded by the fall blooms of Edge’s garden, all in pretty shades of crimson and gold. The days were cooling off, but it was still plenty warm and when the ice cream truck made a run down the road, both of them hopped right in line like the tallest kids in the neighborhood.

Now they were enjoying their treats, Jeff slurping on his rocket pop when he decided it was the time for twenty questions. Or maybe just one.

“sure,” Stretch decided, licking ice cream from his fingers.

“So, you and Edge kiss.”

“yep.”

“And you like to sit in his lap a lot.”

“ayup, that too.”

“You’re pretty touchy-feely, then.”

“yep. like to get in all the touches and feels i can. is there actually a question or is this some kind of public service announcement?”

“Yeah, yeah, can I ask a _weird_ question? About being a skeleton?”

Oh. Well, there it was. Happened all the time with people, even people who barely knew him. People tended to ask, even other Monsters, with a sort of lewd curiosity. Skeletons were different, visibly so, and they always wanted to ask _that_ question. His magic stirred a little nauseously, and Stretch swallowed back his tiny bit of disappointment that Andy would ask this. But this was his friend and he’d told Jeff he could ask him questions. “go ahead.”

“Are you guys ticklish?” And when Stretch leaned up on an elbow to stare at him, Jeff hurried on. “I mean, I know you feel touches, obviously, and you like hugs, so I was wondering about it.”

Okay, yeah, that wasn’t at all the question people usually asked. Stretch couldn’t hold back a grin as he said, “yeah, actually. edge’d try to tell you he’s not, but if you catch him in the right place, he’s squirmy wormy, for sure. can’t say i recommend you try it, though.”

“Probably for the best,” Jeff agreed. His tongue was dyed purple as he licked at the dwindling remains of his popsicle.

Almost, Stretch didn’t say anything. Almost kept it to himself. But Jeff was his friend, he could tell him, couldn’t he? Hesitantly, Stretch admitted. “i thought you were gonna ask something else. like… sometimes people ask what kind of equipment we keep below the belt.”

The look Jeff sent his way was mildly horrified. “Why would I ask that? That’s really invasive.”

“yeah, it is,” Stretch shrugged. “doesn’t stop people from asking.”

“Asshole people,” Jeff looked considering. “Huh. I think I might pay to see what Edge would say to someone who asked that.”

Stretch barked out a laugh, “you and me both. most people aren’t that stupid. guess i have a friendly face.”

Jeff giggled and cooed, “Awww, I think you’re beautiful.”

“course you do,” Stretch scoffed. “one of us has to be the prettiest.” He toyed with the wrapper from his ice cream, tearing it into thin strips before he said, softly, “andy? thanks.”

“You don’t have to thank me for being decent,” Jeff said. His hand on Stretch’s startled him, but he didn’t draw away when Jeff gave it a gentle squeeze. “I’m never going to ask you something intrusive like that. Cross my heart and hope to die.”

Jeff took his hand back, settling into the grass and the silence was comfortable in way that Stretch didn’t often feel. Usually he needed to fill that silence, let words crowd it out, and people didn’t always like that. Jeff never seemed to mind either way, quiet or chatter, he was there for it. Like a best friend should, or so Stretch had been told.

-fin


End file.
